Viagra by any other name....

Obviously, I didn't post yesterday. I've been sick the last couple days and yesterday I didn't have the drive or desire to post.
Today has been an up-and-down sort of day, but I'll pass on the details and simply reiterate an event that happened a few years prior.

A few years ago my parents were over and as my father was reading the newspaper, he suddenly called my mother by name and announced loudly that he needs "Viagra."
"What?" came my mothers confused reply.
With out his hearing aids in, my father will occasionally speak at about 80 Db (not quite as loud as his chop-saw, but easily enough to drown out the TV, the neighbor's lawnmower and any doubt as to what he is saying.)
"Viagra." he announced, "that's what I need."
My mother glanced at me from her chair with a puzzled look on her face, as if she had heard incorrectly, and perhaps I knew what this was about. Obviously, the blank expression on my face was no help, because she turned her attention back to my dad who had placed his nose back in the newspaper. As for me personally, I confess that I didn't know how I felt about this. I also didn't know what I was feeling at the time (other than confusion). Were my parents going to talk about s-e-x. With me right there? Granted, I was in my 40's at the time, but still...there are just some things you just don't feel comfortable talking to your parents about (jail time fits into that category as well).

Well, to ensure that she had his attention, my mom addressed him by name (else he would have kept on reading the paper) and said "What? You need what?"

"Viagra," was the reply. He was louder now, and like the rest of us American's, when someone doesn't understand us; we talk louder. We repeat what what we are saying, only louder. Often we will go to great lengths to explain things differently, speaking slower, with more enunciation, and more volume. "that's what I need. It's the only thing that worked for me, and that's what I want. We need to get me back on that." He was definitely on the volume track(one day I'll relate how he competes with the TV).

Again, my mother looked at me with a quizzical expression. It was obvious that neither of us knew where this was going to end. I was certainly willing to let if go. I'm sure that whatever my dad was talking about, there was a good chance that he'd forget the words he used now when he next discussed what ever it is he was discussing with my mom later on.

"Viagra." he said, setting his newspaper down. He was obviously getting agitated now. "It's the only damn thing that works for my arthritis, my joints are killing me and we need to get me some."

pause...pause...pause...

"Do you mean Vioxx?" my mother prompted.

"Yea," he said, obviously please that she had finally caught on, "We need to get me started on that again."

I was content with the outcome of this conversation. I recalled that once in my 20's I was actually yelling at a couple of friends of mine, trying to get them to understand that "I THINK I HAVE A CALORIE!!" I eventually resorted to pulling my lower lip with one hand then making a dramatic pointing gesture with the other towards my teeth.
"You mean a cavity?" One of them calmly replied.
At that moment, had I been a cartoon-character, I would have developed floppy ears and bayed like a donkey.

My mother isn't one to let things go..."That's not what you said." she informed him.
"It's not?"
"No."
"Oh." There was a pause, then he asked "What did I say?"
"You said Viagra." came her response in a manner that made no attempt to hide her enjoyment.
My dad looked at me for confirmation. With a sad smile, I nodded.

I saw his shoulders slump, and a comical expression on his face as he shook his head and looked down.


... Here endith the blog